baby. .i love u

' don't leave the one you love for the one you like
because the one you like will leave you for the one he/she love
think about it '

well thanks alot for this comment but obviously , you dont know me
im not leaving anyone to be with someone else
it will never gonna happen , EVER
i dont like somebody new , okay ?
it is hard for me to fall in love
end of story , nghhh ;|

my feeling for you , it will remain
IT'LL NEVER CHANGE
enough said

i'm just me

    Oh when I was in love with you,
    Then I was clean and brave,
    And miles around the wonder grew
    How well did I behave.
    And now the fancy passes by,
    And nothing will remain,
    And miles around they'll say that
    I Am quite myself again.

Think bout it sygg. .

i'm not suitable 4 u. .

thinking c udah2

"It's the worst feeling in the world to love & hate someone all at the same time.

And it's hard to watch things change when all you want is for them to stay the same.

It's funny but stupid how you want everything & nothing at the same time.

It's crazy when you want to let go, but you keep holding on,

& when you want to move on but you're stuck right where you started.

When feelings come and go & you can't decide what you want.

When you have so many things to say but you don't know where to start.

When you want them in your life so bad, but all you can do is push them farther & farther away.

It's so hard to think back to how things used to be & look at it now and realize that things are different

& they may never be the same.

You tell yourself it's not worth it, but if it really didn't matter,

you wouldn't spend so much time thinking about it. "

when the rain fall. .

make it stop.

please make it stop. i can't take it.

it hurts too much.

i can't take the pain anymore.

im already alone and broken.

now im replaced.

everyone said im weak, im an idiot, just let go.

but i can't, i tried to let go but i can't.

i pretend like this is all just a nightmare and i will wake up one day.

i know you don't want my heart anymore but please don't break it anymore.

let me down gently please.

everything you said just keeps playing in my head over an over again.

it hurts.

i know im weak.

 

"i love you"

DON'T SAY IT IF YOU DON'T MEAN IT

it's THAT simple

 

**im really trying here, i know you told me i don't have to anymore but i can't let this go.

just please open yr heart and tell me what's going on.

and i'll let go after that if u want me to.

i just need to make sense out of all of this.

IT'S ME uu.

please think about it.

 

i'm fine

i put on a smile and 'hello, i'm doing fine."

'growing up'. something i rlly did look forward to when i was 8. how cool would it be to be a teenager (i didnt even know that word existed when i was 8 for that matter) but now somehow, i feel like i wasted too many time. i need .. something more. the life-time routine most people go through: be born. go to kindy. being childish. be a teenager. being developed into adults. go to college. either fail or succeed. go to work. have a family. then, you die.

sorry for being such a loser right now. i cant help it. even i feel sorry for myself. i need a change right now. i need a new environment. i need to get a life. this self-pity is sad. this is just me afraid to live the world when its in such a disaster. i cant do anything. i feel paralyzed. stuck in this gloomy position i'm in. i feel so .. trapped but every thing's right in front of me. like a fish in a net overlooking the sea. like a bird in a cage staring at the blue sky. like a lion in a circus show passing through Savannah. i am here but my mind is not on earth. it's elsewhere. but when it has returned. i will feel better. i will be free to make my own decisions.

but right now, i will let every thing out. i will be angry and cry and just have some me time. it's been a while since i've done that. maybe thats whats been driving me insane. i've been keeping it in me. from the first day of i luv eu  til today. haha, no wonder i cried so much when i keep thinking of eu wit wat hve been happen early this morning. dont worry though, when i return to my home, i will put on a smile and tell you everything is all right. nothing is wrong except my terrible fear of growing up. i have adjusted myself to that word. i'll be seeing more of it in the future. in the mean time, i will live. i'll let things go the way it is. i will try not to think of the future that often. but when i do, i shall be optimistic.

one day, i promise to make all of you proud. i love you. even if you hate me. i wouldn't be here without all of you.

When you finally allow yourself to trust joy and embrace it,
you will find you dance with everything.[pahami pha mkna tox. .]

hate rythem

I'll just let fate decide when's the next time I get to fucking see you again, yeah?





Im sick of planning things, & getting all excited & my hopes lifted & every-fucking-thing only to be shot down in the very end. No more. Im not gonna bother trying anymore. Every time, something comes up. Idk how many times I've tried to see you. It seems like Im the only one trying, anyway. I don't see you planning anything. I don't hear you saying you want to see me again. I don't see you, doing anything.


Its just fucking "great" that you get to go out with her, your crush-- and not me, your goddamned
g i r l f r i e n d.

Hu Iz HosHana?

Hu iZ eRicca ? ?

Hu dAt??

 What does that mean for US then? Huh?


W h a t e v e r.


PS/ Idk what has gotten into you lately.

nothin 2 said. .

I think Im'ma stay up thinking tonight.


There's just so much happening lately. I have too much on my mind & even more in my heart. I need to clear things out. I hate being distracted, I hate being zoned out, I hate drifting off easily. Just suddenly, everything seems to be moving at a faster pace than usual & Im scrambling all over th place trying to catch up. (Ooohh, that was a good line. ;D)


My fist is tiny. Which makes my heart tiny, too. And so. That

makes it easy for it to be crushed, broken, stepped on,

fragile, vulnerable, hurt & chucked away.



But.



I fought. With all my might. & I still lost you. So, Im giving up.

♥ I Warned You Stop You've left my speecHless

i'm cruel,
complicated more than anything,
trouble seems to follow me like a shadow,
i have mood swings,
and sometimes,
well actually, most of the time,
i wouldn't give a shit.

i'm troublesome,
i eat a lot,
i talk a lot,
i have an ego,
most probably bigger than yours,
i don't open up,
i hate lame jokes,
and i'm never nice.

i'm sorry

 

 STOP . .

 

 i can't stop thinking of what is to happen. just woke up so my mind is buzzing uncontrollably. Mak doesn't want me sleeping like this, but i can't help it. i feel scarily alone. as if no one can touch me. i miss my sygg. oh my god, i haven't seen him since when lah.

i wanna take pictures. i miss taking pictures, obviously. i think i might go around taking pictures of the various christmas decorations. oooh, that does sound like fun.

my king is coming to me in a bit. hope he's not too angry.

man, i am so hungry,

haha. .

YOU'VE LEFT MY SPEECHLESS

ughhh, so tired. can you guess what song i'm listening to ? anyways. i'm real tired, been up for god knows how long, and i'm about ready to hit the hay.

had an awesome petunk with the genx2  tadi. azieyra  told me a story that got me laughing for minutes. i couldn't even breathe, ahh, good times, good times. her left early then merra follow by mirul then mea and aizad left. so lepak in the room with me brothers jap.cyta sal headache. .my head oredy sa cham pa jer

sa nk hentak palaq nie kat STONE jer . .huhu

man, today was so hectic and eventful but i had fun. i slept at safa, which was somewhat of a first, don't blame me, i was shit tired.

my king sounds so troubled. maybe tomorrow night hopefully.

off to sleep now, chows !

Dhea n dhea. .

Stay with me til at least forever? You're my current obsession. You're my favourite position. Every word I've said to you were the words that I mean the most I'll never let you go. Oh, can we stay like this forever? <3
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ♥

When you're around I don't know what to do. I do not think that I can wait to go over and to talk to you. I do not know what I should say. It's so contagious. I cannot get it out of my mind. It's so outrageous. You make me feel so high ;)

I miss you Alvin mcquel ♥

 

                                                                      You, moi love ♥

And no matter what you always moi number one

The one that I cant live without, that's you

You're my precious lil shorty <3

Hihi. I love you so much sygg. Love me too? :]

xxx

Stay with me til at least forever? CozI'll love you tomorrow as I do today...
it doesn't really matter cause I'll love you anyway!. Every word I've said to you were the words that I mean the most I'll never let you go. Oh, can we stay like this forever? <3

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ♥

life is complicated. . .

my heart beats fast, faster than the formula one racing car whnvr i run into you. how amusing is dat? bahaha. no, its not.

i dont react normally when it comes to you
even wen i just saw a glimpse of you.
its like an elctrc shock that mke me stunnd automatically and freeze my mind.
yea, u gve such a big impct to me.
and oh,i hate you for that.
ihatehowmuchimissyou
but sometime,
i feel like i wnna pull a trigger an aim sharp on ur head.
giving someone a chance to be in ur life,
to be apart of you,
ur bitterhalf,
its like, berani mati i could say.
cz that means, ur letting ur heart to be hurt again.
<3

the phrase "i promise i always gonna be there for you" is bullshit.
and so does "i promise you the world and everything in it" and "i love you forever and ever".
cz theres gonna be a time where u cnnt be there when someone needs you.
and you cnt promise u gonna love someone forever and ever, not evn tomorrow, and forever? its far away to go, cz its not up to you. bt we cn only hope and pray for it
i dont forget one easily,
i dont love someone easily
bt i do trust ppl easily.
bt 1 thing dat u should noe iz 
dun try mox rampaz nyha ry ku bhe
ku sygg nyha jaq
juz tayk
"alvin mcquel" 

empty promises

liar lair liar!

she lies to me and i can't stand of it.


i always put high hopes in everything
that at the end of the day,
i'm the one who hurts.


i'm not a little girl anymore as
i remember all her promises.


she just want to make me felt happy right?
thats why she always said nice things to me.


then everything was just a lie.
i won't trust her anymore for one reason:
she doesn't keep her promises


i just want to meet my old friends.
she ask me to do so


but now she's the one who doesn't want to make it.
she knows thats the only way for me to meet my friends.


promises are now dreams since
it won't come true(:

tayk aee. .

                                                                                 

sygg ny
sygg ny
chentha ketat2 ngan ny
chentha ketat2 ngan ny
mox ny
mox ny
tawen ngn ny
tawen ngn ny
conclude:!!
meyk sygg tayk. .
meyk chentha tayk ketat2
meyk mox tayk
meyk mox tawen ngn tayk
meyk sygg chentha mox tawen tayk
:D
mena c ulawk
jnji meyk ngn tayk
meyk lurb tayk pey matiey
tayk gwex meyk pey matiey
tayk skandal meyk pey matiey
tayk lakiey meyk pey matiey
tayk yar ALVIN MCQUEL bhee
=]



CHENTHA KETAT2 NGAN SYGG;)

so on. .n so on

satu lagi hari yang penuh dgn kebosanan...haihhh...susahnye...tak der ke ari2 yang tak perlu think of him???...arghhh...im sick and tired!...enough is enough...let me stop and breath!...i need to live my life!...i need to move on...life sucks..wth kwn ku yg hvg prob cuzen ku nok poret. .

ntah lh. .juz want him badly ryte now

 

relieve

BermuLa. .. . .

a conversation between me(eiyba), a bitch & gwex emy[faez] n emy...

bAa:"eyowww??"


bitch:"Hello..sape tox??"


*rase pelik sgt*

kaly mena adah emy  yar 

myak yar da gwex laen

baa:"faez nie??"


bitch:"Koe tox sape??"

baa:"kawan nyha.."


bitch:"num die nie ak yg pkai skrg..xyh dh ko nk kol2 num nie.."


*end of conversation


argghhhh!!!dh agak dh..
memang die ade pompuan lain...
dh laa pompuan 2 kurang ajar sgt...
bencik damn!!!xleh ckp leklok ke..1more thing..
u are the one that take him from my frenz..but i never blame u...=((

c puas hati..
try call faez 2 plak..kt num laen plak key no deq...

baa:"aez..baa tox cuzen emy sape yg jwab kol tdi yar??

gwex bawu koe kha??"

faez:"ade laa..xyah laa tau..xpenting pn.."

baa:"k..bye..ingt koe boh ngco kzen ku gix. .

mun ku twuq koe ngco nyha matiey koe ah"

n then i call emy. .

baa: emyyy . .
emy:pha yar baa. .? ?
baa:sory ouh pha ku sbt tox mgkn hurt u. .
emy mna nyha da gwex laen

Sucks wen ur in love wit a guy and he doesnt love u back,

and jus tells u lies constantly.
 yet u fall more in love with him and he jus keeps shredding your hear

t..why cant we let go ?

emy: dh agk dh baa. .mena lh yar. .baa cdeh ku

cpha . .bia lh nyha. .lark ku stay umah koe ah. .

bah cygg koe ouh. .

meyk denga sora emy beubh dak mox ngs, ,

hmm i juz said oke. .i wait 4 u. .

so,its over...
the things that i want to say to emy:"be cool,dear..just let them be..none of ur business now..plus,u feel relieve now..coz u now their secret & after all the sadness that he gives to u before has gone now..& will not coming back..gone forever..better to be with urself..=)"

aee ku gix cdeh. .ku cmox ku ngn sygg ku dk yar. .

ku sygg ilak ngn lakiey ku yar. .

heLlo DECEMber

terasa macam nak update blog pulak. hahaha

btw, Hello December (:

memandangkan bulan december dah muncul,

duit aku pun banyak la melayang dalam bulan nie.

HAHAHA! next week nak pegi sambung study lagi p ku lom pat surat 

pendaftaran lh. .surat response. .huhu xkeysah kalo x g lagi shuka

coz ku memang xmao g. 

xmass xlma lg . .shoppingg.

so paham paham jela duit aku melayang ke arah mana -.

December pix came, .

december pix came ! !:))

scroll downn

pix tox boenk aee

ctwuq mox oyah pha

snap pix drikpown lh

huhu

tag 4 lg mns band. .[malam]

 

 

bah2. .last snapp

c kacaq c senugget takoank poyah..

lalalaa

p ku tetap mem alvin

huhu

cHaooss....ILY

muahx3

xoxo

 

kwn ku . .

wey my december ! ;))

*waseh ! dh msok bulan december ! apUu. dunia smakin tuaa !*
ku pown dh mox msk ladies tym. .
cdha tym mox rugget gix..
hoho
dat mean meyk dwak pown chama wark. .
yez 
iLY YEZ!!
 
petUnk tOx...mox cYta cKet
Sucks wen ur in love wit a guy and he doesnt love u back, and jus tells u lies constantly.
 yet u fall more in love with him and he jus keeps shredding your heart..why cant we let go ?
Yeah dat ryte must he do. .
it hurts. it does. it hurts more when the sweet memories pop up in mind. it hurts remembering how sweet him was and how him changed into a complete stranger. it hurts to be dumped when you had just lost your someone loves it hurts when him is not there for you to get through the hardest moment in your life.

but...

i believe that things happen for reasons.
and guess what? I'm a stronger person now.

n he tell me 

he don't trust love anymore.

n i said. .

it up 2 eu. .

n i noe. .

u fall in luv gain 

when eu meet sumone dat gud 4 eu. .

lies lh'

mun c..

mOment of truth

heyya. wah wah. petUnk yang not da rytemood aku post !haha. aaa. yaa. pa ku mok cyta. aeee HIM yes HIM bhaa. everything dh terang2 already.yar kha . .lom gix aee gix ntah lh. . no offense yar kha. .

wateva. .

bulak ku mdh ku c cdey. i'de lie ku bulak saya tipu kmk bulak. hwaa .yaa. phl? tah lah. aku pown c twuq wark phl. ahahah. 

Ry marex ku Kae ngan nYha . .apUu. .pAma mAi . .hoho. .nyha c cyak ngn ku. .mun takoank pown sa cham cdha gna nk kapel lamaq mun cdha trust ryte. .majoq mena2 ku. .tang da tgn ku pandey op hp. .FLIGHT MODE. .

kimen na sa tym yar. .ku ng moody bish2. .c twuq pha al nya pya ilak. .mox jaq ku nybt. .wey . .pha sygg mox kae ngan ku kha adh mna nyamn ku moyah perthnan lox. .huhu. .smpt moyah lawak.

ku on udk hp kul 8.30 p.m pea. .apuu bna upha ku ngs . .

CONGEK AEEE!!:P

yarabine bertimbun eycesh atang. .mala jaq bunyi indh hp ku yar. .

syz bella eycesh. .cwoh kol. .kakyar emy cuzen ku paloy kae ngan gwex nya

adh drkpn tgh laln rayha. .bodoo. aee byk na eycesh. .

aee nyha cdha eycesh ku. .

cdeh ku

nyha c ingt ku lh yar

mox ngs. .tang da ku ngs udk

jaex na lakiey yar. .

mlesh ku . .

 

tba2 jaq hp ku bnyi udk nyha eyh. .nyha eycesh ku. .nyha windu ku lah yar. .ee lakiey ku windu ku. .ee c malu ngambu . .hehe

nya adh op jaq hp d. .bia d twuq d dh ilank oank d sygg pey bla2..

wuhaaaaaa. .ngs udk ku. .jaex na ank yar. .

lamaq ku c eycesh nyha. .dh yar ngn muka c malu ngn bani drik ku eycesh

kdaktox aee. .

baa-eYow..hYe..oLLa...wEy..Pha gIx oUh. yar Jaq kot. .hMm pHa oUh

oKe2. .sOry 4 distb. .coz meyk twuq meyk dstb taYk. .n sO on..

[ucek aee]

sygg-cDha lhA taq c dHa pown dstb meyk. .mAyb meyk dstb taq bHa. .hee Ng pYa gYa mUwn dh wndU. .dstbn c dstb dLi pha. .

bAa-aeee pha adah tayk tox c phm meyk bhe. .

sygg-cdha meyk adh meyk windu taq bhe

bAa-oUh. .taYk be4 dat cOry oKe. .meYk binggg tox. .tAyk pha meYk rAh taYk kNek ? ? dH yar pNah c wIndu mEyk tYm mEyk c eYcesh tAyk. .n sO on. seNsor aEe .tAyk meyK wIndU tAyk

tAyk tLg meYk taYk pNey gNe gya mOx cwOh meYk eNteY ngS.  .

sYgg-tAq mOx twuq pha taq rah meYk.okE meYk adH nGan Taq. .b4 dat leyh c taq gwin blah meYk . .meYk mOx pYoq taq. .n so on. .

bAa-oUk bhe meYk dh blah tAYk dh tOx. .ajuwh adh ngn meYk. .bOh peY meyK ngs gIx. .mEyk kuwat ngs bHe. .cOngeK meYk tOx aEE

sYgg-oKe. .taq still beloved 1..stIl vvip in heart. .eu will neva be erased. .n meYk still anggap taq biniey meyk. .ehe c malu ngmbu. .n so on...

bAa-Dow tAyk. .tAYk oYah meYk tetaq wHen eU sAid mLu ngmbu. .hoHo

p mUn tayk mox pown pey dudi ary lark pwon meyk c keycah. .n so on.. .

sYgg-eHe. .cmOx kelai ngn cYgg. .cYgg koL c lamq lox..mox nga sOra cYgg lOx..

dh yar meyk kol

apUu windu gaban meyk ngan lakiey meyk aeee..

ps...i love eu alvin mcquel..luv eu damn much..muahx3